Bittersweet Sorry
by LuckyGreenMark
Summary: Riker will never forget the hurt he caused to the only girl he's ever loved. /RIAURA\


**Heya!**

**I HAVE TO SAY, some of you might recognize something within these words... I have to admit, I got the idea from the author HJ Russo. You should look at her stories. Amazing. ANYWAY, I got the idea for this one-shot from one of her stories, and might've stolen a few phrases from her. ;) I give her full credit for those, and big thanks to her for the inspiration! I do not mean to steal anything!  
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**Also, you might notice NYMU. I THINK that's from Austin and Ally. I know they used SOME letters to say something like New York Music University or something, whatever. Just in case, that's from A&A too. I don't own anything, really. So... just enjoy!**

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It took a long time for them to get together.

The first time they met, it was like Physical Attraction at First Sight. Not love. Only physical attraction. But that was okay with Riker. He enjoyed watching her.

Either way, they didn't talk. They said 'hi' to each other, but nothing else. They had just met. They had no idea they would end up being soul mates together.

A year passed. They became a little more comfortable with each other, but not really. They danced around each other for months. The small glances they gave each other eventually turned into looks. Then those looks became into gazes. Then those gazes turned into stares.

Riker watched as Laura Marano seemed to unfold like a butterfly in front of him. Everyday, he noticed a tiny different thing about her. The color of her eyes. The necklace she always wore. The way she fiddled with her charm bracelet. He told himself that he was just 'observing,' but he was really just taking all her beauty in.

Then, he left for tour with R5. At that time, he and Laura weren't really friends. Their goodbye was just a casual wave as he boarded onto the plane and they took off for Arizona. His mind became filled with girls, lights, music, and dreams of being even more famous as the tour swept in.

But when he came back, Laura had changed.

She was a little taller, still shorter than him, but she had increased by an inch or so. Her hair was no longer a wavy dark brown. It was a light brown, with blonde ends, wavy and perfect. She had grown skinnier, and her curves were most noticeable. Her lips were pinker than Riker remembered. Plus, her style had gone from cute and quiet to bold and beautiful.

To say he was shocked to see Laura when he stepped off of that plane was correct.

That's when he started seeing her more in his life. They constantly had huge meetings, R5 plus the Austin and Ally cast, and he saw her laughing and whispering with Rydel and Raini all the time. It wasn't until he ran into a pole because he was too busy staring at her was when he realized that he might have some romantic feelings for her.

His birthday came. She got him McFly tickets to a concert, and Riker and Rocky went together. Her birthday came. She turned eighteen. Riker gave her a silver necklace with a heart pendant. She wore it all the time.

Then, Christmas was around the corner. People were hanging up Christmas lights and trees and decorations, Rocky throwing snowballs at unsuspecting pedestrians. Rydel getting girly with the glitter. Ross eating all the cookies.

And mistletoes.

Riker and Laura ended up together under a mistletoe.

He still remembers the December night as clear as glass. She was wearing a casual blue hoodie over a gray T-shirt, leggings, and black boots, her hair tied in a high ponytail. He had his glasses, a red plaid shirt, ripped jeans, and Converse. They looked up, seeing as Rydel had hung a mistletoe above Riker's own doorway to his bedroom, and then looked at each other sheepishly.

The next thing he knew, he was backing her up against the wall, kissing her hard, her fingers in his hair. The mistletoe was long forgotten as they kissed throughout the whole night.

By New Year's Day, he had a girlfriend.

That was when his life was suddenly in fast-forward. R5 was having another tour, and Riker didn't want to leave Laura's side, so he convinced the managers to allow Laura to join them on tour. The next months, they were together, cuddling and kissing, going public. People gushed over how cute they were. The only downside was that all the Raura shippers were against the idea, but who cares?

After four months, when it was near the end of June, they were back in California after touring the USA all over, going into Mexico and Canada a little, too. Riker and Laura spent the summer together, celebrating in their own little way at a private beach condo he had reserved for them.

That was when things took a sour turn.

Riker got signed to a movie he had auditioned for, but he didn't realize the movie shooting was in Brazil, miles away from Laura. He had a choice: either give up the movie, or leave Laura.

Laura had fully assured him that she was perfectly okay with him leaving. It was his dream after all! She didn't want to be the one reason he lost his chance.

If he closes his eyes, he could still remember their words.

"_Oh, Riker, don't worry about me! This is your chance to be in the spotlight! Wasn't it always your dream to play a main role in a movie? Take it, Riker. I'll be waiting here when you get home."_

_ Riker nodded. "Okay, but you come and visit, alright? I know that sounds chaotic, with the movie and all, but I can't go months without seeing you."_

_ "Of course I'll visit for a few days, Riker." She smiled. "I can't do a day without you either."_

It turns out, Riker and Laura never got to visit between the movie sessions. He was always busy with rehearsing, meetings, or he was just too exhausted to meet up with her. Laura stayed in LA the whole time, but she kept her promise. She waited for him to come back.

As an apology, Riker decided to make a big move. He bought an apartment in LA, and the day he came back to Laura, he offered to live together with each other.

She accepted. They couldn't have been happier.

So, of course, that's when Riker blew it.

Ever since the movie Riker was in released, his career sky-rocketed. Phone calls were constantly being sent in, producers asking Riker to be in their movies. Riker turned some down, for a while at least, because he wanted to spend some time with Laura. But eventually, he started getting into more and more acting roles.

Despite living together, Riker and Laura just didn't have enough time together. Laura had gotten another acting job for a TV series, and Riker was filming movies, so they never got to properly be together. They slept in the same bed at night, but the next morning the warmth would fade as they had to quickly leave for their acting.

Laura's TV series got cancelled when the main role was sick of cancer. Laura spent most of her time waiting for Riker to come home everyday. She cooked him meals, and sent him texts of good luck, and tried being as supportive as she could. This was Riker's dream, anyway; he always wanted to be a famous actor.

But time was fading quickly. There were no longer such things as 'date nights' for them. But that was okay. Laura knew Riker was working on his dream.

Missed anniversaries. That was okay. Laura knew Riker was working on his dream.

Missed birthdays. She wasn't bothered. Riker needed to put in all his energy if he wanted a steady career of acting.

Riker knew it was his fault. He knew exactly how Laura felt. He hated himself for not doing better actions.

He still remembers the day, March 24th, when he had blown it all.

_Laura walked in, late, around 10:00 PM. She had been out with Rydel and Raini, who she hasn't seen in forever. They had gone shopping, eating, and had fun like the old times._

_ As the door opened, and Riker heard Laura entering the house, he swore and quickly crawled out of bed. But it was too late._

_ Laura gasped, suddenly freezing in the doorway as she saw Riker trying to wrap his secret lover in a blanket and pull his own clothes on. He let out another curse, and looked at her._

_ "Laura, I can explain."_

_ Laura didn't want to listen. She wouldn't listen. Riker had moved on, forgotten about her. He was famous, anyway. More famous than ever. She should've known he was going to realize he could do better, anyway._

_ "Laura, wait!" Riker yelled, chasing after her as she ran out of their apartment and onto the streets. He had followed her, after dressing, leaving the blonde bitch in their own bedroom. Laura sobbed, tears pouring down her face._

_ "Laura, please, stop crying." Riker tried touching her, but she veered away._

_ "Don't touch me, Riker!" Laura exclaimed. "I should've known you were going to pull something like this! I should've known!"_

_ "Laura, that girl doesn't mean a thing to me," Riker tried. "Laura, come back to the apartment. It's cold and windy. Let me explain…"_

_ "What do you have to explain?" Laura asked. "That you weren't faithful to me? That you were cheating on me? I'm sure you have an excuse for that."_

_ "Laura, I know I fucked up," Riker tried. "Just… just…"_

_ "Riker, you want to know what hurts the most?" she asked. "It's not that you've been cheating on me with someone flashier. It's not that you've been spending more time working on movies than with me. It's the fact that even though you DID do these things, I was still here, supporting you. I tried my best to help you with your dream, and I thought you were thankful for it, but you just didn't have time because of your career."_

_ "Laura, I AM thankful…" Tears stung his eyes as Riker stepped closer to her. She took a step back, like he was a dangerous animal._

_ "I've been waiting for you, Riker. Waiting for you for months. I never complained about us not seeing each other because I thought it was for your own career, and then we'd be together. But now, I find out you've actually been hooking up with other girls and having drunk fun. Am I not good enough for you now or something, because you're famous?"_

_ "Laura, that's not it at all!" Riker exclaimed. "Laura, please. Give me another chance. I'll make up for being a rotten boyfriend."_

_ "Riker, you never WERE my boyfriend! You were before your movies took off, but then you were just a roommate I lived with."_

_ "Laura, please!" Riker got to his knees. "Please, give me another chance! I'll prove to you I love you."_

_ "No, Riker," Laura sobbed. "Just… just leave me alone from now on." She took off in a fast run._

_ "Laura, wait!" Riker screamed, trying to chase after her. But she crossed a street, and before he could do the same, a bus rolled by, with a trail of cars behind it, blocking him from her. He sobbed, watching as her fading figure disappeared away from him._

Ever since, Riker tried seeing her, apologizing. Her phone number was changed. He had no idea where she was living now. Raini and Rydel were the only ones who knew, and they refused to tell him. Riker spent the nightly hours crying, no longer trying to meet new girls in clubs. His movies got cancelled for his 'laziness' and 'lack of responsibility.' Except Riker didn't care.

He just wanted Laura back.

One time, while he was complaining again to Rydel about why she wouldn't tell him where Laura was, she, his own sister, slapped him across the face.

_"You know, Riker, you may be my favorite brother, but you have some damn nerve to want Laura now that you've lost her. Think about it. You chose fame and fortune and girls over her, even though she's been supporting you throughout everything!"_

_ "I said sorry!" Riker yelled back. "How many times do I have to fucking apologize?"_

_ "Laura may forgive you, Riker! I'm sure she __**FORGIVES **__you! But you've pushed her so far that there might not be a way to get back together with her in a romantic relationship. She forgives you, but she's not going to try anything again with you!"_

_ "I want her, though," Riker said. Tears started to trickle down his face. "I know I'm a total asshole for what I did, but I feel like I can't do anything unless she's with me."_

_ "It's your own fault, Riker," Rydel snapped. "Maybe you should've thought of Laura before you decided to be a dumbass."_

Rydel really knocked some sense into him. Riker knew he shouldn't be wallowing over her, just because she wasn't in his grip, but he was literally becoming more and more dull everyday. He barely had the strength to get out of bed now that she's gone.

It was Raini who finally told Riker where Laura was living at. She had visited his apartment to see how he was doing, and saw him slumped over the counter, like he had passed out. After panicking, then realizing he was just dozing off, she saw how miserable he looked and told him that Laura was at an apartment on 31st.

And now, months later in July, Riker was at the door, paralyzed, too afraid to knock for the sheer terror of what her reaction would be. Would she slam the door in his face as soon as she saw it was him? Or maybe she would stop and listen, before realizing he was pathetic.

But he had to at least try. He had to at least let her knew he felt sorry, and that he still loved her.

His weak fist raised up to the wood, before gently tapping against it. He waited a few seconds, two, three, four… When the door swung open.

Riker stared at her. She was beautiful. She was wearing a simple T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers, but to him, she was absolutely stunning. Her eyes widened in shock, stepping back slightly, but not closing the door.

"Riker." It wasn't a question. It was a statement of shocking realization as she stared at him.

"Laura," Riker whispered softly.

Laura leaned against the door slightly, her eyes still wide. "What are you doing here?"

"To apologize."

Laura's shoulders deflated. "Riker, I told you…"

"I know what you told me," Riker interrupted. "But I feel like my message didn't get through, like I didn't use the right words to explain how I truly feel. Laura, it takes me forever to get up in the day because you're not with me."

She said nothing.

"It takes me even more forever to get up and actually do something. All my movies had been cancelled because I couldn't focus."

"I know," Laura said quietly. "I read about it."

"And," Riker said, "I know that you aren't quite trusting me anymore, but just know that I _still_ love you, Laura. You're absolutely beautiful to me, and I understand how you don't want to be with me anymore. But I do, and I just want to let you know that I will never stop wanting you."

"Oh, Riker," she whispered. "I _do_ want to be with you."

Riker looked at her, hope sparking inside of him. "_You do_?"

"I do," she whispered. "Except, it'll only be torturous in the end, because…"

She paused, before gesturing with her hand. "Come on."

She led him into her room, where she walked over to a desk with papers stacked on them. She pulled out an envelope, and at first, he was confused.

"I don't… what is it?"

"An acceptance letter," Laura said softly. "I got accepted to NYMU in New York. It's one of the best music schools in the country, but if you and I started dating again… You and I wouldn't be able to see each other at all."

Riker felt like his heart was shattering. He started to open his mouth to protest, but then stopped. Déjà vu moment.

It was like when Riker had the first movie role, and Laura had to stay home and wait for him. Now, it was the same situation, only this time, Laura was the one leaving.

And Riker would be the one waiting.

Laura took a shaky breath. "As much as I want to be with you, Riker, I can't give up NYMU. You know that. And I can't be your girlfriend while being 3000 miles away. Plus… I'm not sure if I really trust you." She looked down.

"Laura," Riker said gently. "Don't feel guilty." He gently placed both of his hands over hers. "I'll be waiting for you when you come back."

"Riker." Her eyebrows shot up. "Riker, don't pin yourself over me. You can find another girl. I'll be a long way's away…"

"But I don't want to be just friends, Laura," Riker said. "And you will go to school in New York. We'll just… we'll just have to wait until school's over. Then you and I could maybe get back together."

Laura stared at him. "Riker, I don't know…"

"I know it takes time for people to get over hurtful things," Riker said. "And I know I hurt you. But Laura, while you're in New York, think about it. Okay? Then, when you come back, whatever choice you made for you and me, I'll be okay with."

Laura stared at him. "Why are you here?" she asked. "I never was mad at you. I forgave you, Riker. So why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to tell you I still love you," Riker said. "And that I want to be with you."

"I don't know if we can, Riker."

"That's okay." Riker leaned over and kissed her forehead softly. "Laura, I'll be here. I won't move at all. You can achieve your dream, and I'll support you."

"Really?" Laura asked softly. A smile started to spread across her face, and Riker nodded.

He gently took her in his arms, hugging her softly. She sighed, leaning her head on his chest. A million fireworks exploded inside of Riker, just having her back in his arms made him feel good.

"Like I said," Laura murmured softly. "I don't know, Riker. I don't want to make you feel bad, but I'm not sure if we can be together. I'll think about it over school, but…" She trailed off.

Riker smiled, despite what she was saying, and kissed her cheek softly. He sighed, his voice a hushed whisper.

"I'll be waiting for you, Laura. While you're in New York, I'll be here, waiting for you. I promise."

**END**


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